LOW my ass!

For the past week, I've been on LOW.  Lack of work.  Corporateamerica forced me to take an unpaid week off.... so the precious shareholders get their quarterly dividend.  Just not in love with that idea.  Particularly since part of the building did not have to submit.  Does this mean that I, we, are less valuable than the other part?  I've been turning that over and over in my mind, and I don't have an answer.  
It may be because the week has been just a weird portion of time, like the time-space continuum shifted and no one told me.  The parents visited last Sunday, a planned visit.   What was not planned was Bandit's illness.  Coming home on Saturday the 9th, after a semi enjoyable afternoon with friends, we found Bandit vomiting, and covered in feces.  He had lost control of his bowels, panicked (at least that's what it looked like from the smears on the floor) and more or less left a trail of turds to the door.  It didn't get better.  A call to his vet...... went totally unanswered.  They still haven't called back.  Fuckers.  My vet stepped in, and on Monday we decided that it was simply time for Bandit to join Dakota at the Bridge.  He went peacefully.  I think they do when they are in pain or are suffering.   But, while waiting to get him to the vets, Mom and Dad and I went to... Charlestown.  The trip had been planned, and I can't complain about the results, but sitting at the penny slots, mindlessly spinning and spinning.... not really knowing if I was winning or losing or whatever, just trying to be everything to everyone.

Particularly hard for B, as she and Bandit had been together for over 13 years.  Follow that up with eye surgery on Tuesday for B, and it's no wonder that she experienced some pain and problems afterwards.  Wednesday was for rest, but a long planned trip to the campground was on the schedule for Thursday.  A few days up there was what I guess we needed, as I came home 8 pounds lighter, and we were all in a better mood.  And here it is Sunday, one week from the start of LOW, back to Corporateamerica tomorrow.  Pffft.  It's hard to muster up enthusiasm.

So, one good thing did come out of that Wednesday rest day.  Mom was back up, yeah, I know, twice in one week!, on a quick overnight while she was traveling.  Dinner was at a local 'landmark', The Cozy Inn.  The food was, well, OK.  Nothing spectacular.  But we spent some time in the 'Camp David' museum.  Trout Run is for sale, or was for sale.  The VP 'residence' in the Catoctin Mountains.  That got me thinking..... suppose, just suppose, that it was purchased and turned in to a retreat for women?  And that the women who bought it lost their 'jane of all trades', who more or less left in the darkness of night.  And that the main character knows these women and just comes up to get away from her mom...... and ends up........yeah, there may be a setting there.  One that's familiar to me, but will let me stretch some, and let me include some of my own loves in the story line.   Damn, its a start!!

Low carb and tolerating it!

Several years ago, I think the Food Network featured a show called Low Carb and Lovin' It!  I also think the guy who hosted it was recently charged with some sort of a serious crime. It's because he wasn't eating enough carbs.   Your honor, the defense rests.
Last fall, when my PA called to let my know my blood sugar levels were resting just below a diabetes diagnosis, she suggested I go on a low carb diet.  So I did.  I have spent I don't know how many meals chowing down like Wilma Flintstone.... steak, burgers, chicken, turkey.  Probably not enough fish and seafood.  Veggies.  Limited fruit.  High fiber stuff.   Special K High Protein... well, not the best cereal I've had, but not the worst.   Carb Balance tortillas.   Fiberful english muffins.  Peanut butter.  
So the blood sugar level has improved.
My waste line has improved.  The scale moves further to the left every day.
But I miss cookies.... any cookies.  Crappy Dollar Store cookies.  Fig Newtons.  Cameos.  Homemade sugar cookies.   Gingersnaps.  I'm mourning your loss.
And I miss scones.  Hot tea and scones, the civilized way to start the evening repast.  Screw booze, give me a tender scone!
So now I'm experimenting.  Looking for low carb cookie and scone recipes, and giving them a try.    Not necessarily sugar free, although that would be probably the best way to go.    I want to come home, heat the water, warm the scone, load it with clotted cream or lime curd and sit on my deck and enjoy a few quiet moments.
Damn blood sugar.

Ignoring and Ignorance

I've been ignoring you. I'm sorry Blogger, I really am. I'd explain, but I'm not sure you would care. Suffice it to say that sometimes life gets in the way. Maybe that's not life or not living getting in the way.

Besides, Facebook is a lot of fun..... but it tends to be mind numbing sometimes.

So much since last October..... I have a lot to share.

The biggest change is this little lady:

I'd say my heart finally healed, that I was over Dakota, but that's not the case. I was looking for another Husky! And fate led me to Betty. She's a three year old Lhasa mix - although who or what she's mixed with is probably never going to be solved. No, she's not a Husky. But she hates hot weather, loves spending time with people, and has a stubborn streak the size of the state of Alaska. She's not a Husky, but maybe, just maybe, she's what I needed.

And I love her!

So, I'm back to pondering all things wordy. And thinking about writing again. It feels good.

Realizations

Where to start?
I took a college level class this semester. Partly to lumber towards the completion of the ever fleeting dream of getting that Associates Degree. But mostly to satisfy a need at work - our yearly goals.
And I hate it.
Absolutely hate it.
I'm sure that part of it is that I resent taking the class for someone other than me. Me is a byproduct on this one.
And part of it is that I just don't want to be behind a desk anymore. I've known that for some time, but it's probably time to take it on and see what happens.

I want to cook. I just want to earn a good, honest living by flipping eggs someplace and coming home to my small haven, enjoying my books and the quiet. There. Now that's out too.

Somewhere, when I wasn't looking or when I didn't care, or when I was too worried about everyone but me, I got caught up in the idea of status quo. I've had the same job for almost 12 years. There's not really anything to complain about, the job pays well, my boss isn't the worst, I've done well in terms of increasing my salary. It just doesn't excite me. And I have some issues with the morality of the business world. I don't want to be in a job where the world will stop turning if something or someone isn't completed on an unrealistic timeline.

Yet here I sit. Well, not at this particular moment, but generally speaking. I'll be heading to my desk on Tuesday (off tomorrow to attend my sister's wedding) and putting myself on the corporate treadmill again.

It's time to get off.

Inspire

I've been putting a lot of thought in to inspiration lately. I think, on a daily basis, things inspire us. We see, we acknowledge, we store it away. I am not above saying that by overhearing a discussion today, I was inspired to add a blurb to the training session I'm currently running.
It's more than that though. I think that there are certain events, books, songs, people that light that flame within us, and just the memory of that event, book, song, person keeps that flame flickering. It lights a passion within us, which, in turn inspires others.

My Flame Lighting Moments!

Inspiration #1 -
I remember being deeply inspired by Robert Frost. In ninth grade, we had to memorize - and then recite - the entire poem "Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening". It captured, for me, the beauty and quiet that I have always found in a snowfall. To this day, I can all but recite the whole poem. I remember putting a book of poetry by Robert Frost on my Christmas list that year. My mother thought I was nuts, and made a point of telling me that she spent $12.95 on the damn book, but on Christmas morning, I opened "The Poetry of Robert Frost". I still keep the book on my shelf. I've paged through it hundreds of times, stopping randomly and reading a poem. It still brings a smile to my face and joy to my heart. I love the way Mr. Frost takes just a few words and transports me to the snowy woods. Mom, I think you got your thirteen bucks out of that gift!

Inspiration #2 -
"Luck of the Draw" by Bonnie Raitt. Both the album, probably my all time favorite, and the song. Oh, I know everyone went gaga over "I Can't Make You Love Me", but the first time I listened to the son, I fell in love. Paul Brady wrote the lyrics, but Bonnie's voice made them come alive to me. Odd though, I just tried to link something from YouTube, and I cannot find her version of the song. I don't know that the single went anywhere for Bonnie, but her version still remains at or near the top of my favorite song list.

Inspiration #3 -
Dorothy B Hughes. "The Case of the Real Perry Mason". A biography of Erle Stanley Gardner. Yeah, OK. I hear you laughing. I saved for weeks, had my mom write out a check and had this book shipped to me when I was seventeen years old. I'd been a fan of the Perry Mason series since I was old enough to watch the reruns on TV. For YEARS, I thought that the inspiration here was going to send me to law school, returning as the lawyer no one could beat. In reality, the inspiration was Mr Gardner himself. His work ethic. His 'podunking'. His travel stories. I believe, and I would have to get the book to confirm this - yeah, it's on the same shelf as the Frost book! - that he said something to the effect of 'I figured out a long time ago that the only way I could travel was to be a writer. I could take my work with me, and still satisfy my wanderlust.'. It was one of the first times I had encountered the word wanderlust. Sigh. Probably one of my favorite words.

I think there's more inspirations that I want to share, but for now, I'm noticing that they all reference words. Lyrics. Poetry. Wanderlust. My mind wants to churn on that.

Men at work ... ?

Wait, OK, I lied. There's no men at work, because they don't work! At least at my personal version of corporateamerica they don't.
But that's a whole post, a whole weeks worth of posts.
And that's time I don't intend to waste.

I did it again. I went back to the local community college and reenrolled. Again. I think I've enrolled a half a dozen times now. Just six more classes, six tiny little classes to get my Associates Degree. Oh, I know, I hear you snickering. But I've been trying to get this degree complete for THIRTY YEARS. I have credits older than my children! I've promised myself that I'll get it done this time. I'd like to get it before my 50th in 2011...... maybe. Perhaps it needs to go on the Bucket List? That seems to be capturing most of my attention these days.

I am doing another first in February - a seven day cruise to the Bahamas. I did it mostly to say that I went on a cruise. I must admit, I'm not 100% sure this is a Bucket List item... last couple of times I've done a dinner cruise or sightseeing cruise, I all but did the horka horka.

Not a very flattering thing, the horka horka.

At any rate, is it time to formalize the Bucket List? Post it for the world to see and to hold me accountable to? It may be.

Joni's Bucket List

To be continued.........

I'm not the only one!

I love this!

While Lancaster takes up more time than I'd like, I love the whole idea of living small. Less space, less stuff, less headache. This guy not only has a great idea, but he gets an 'A' for decor, and thoughtful details.